Thank you all very very much for your encouraging notes and emails! I cannot say how gratefull I am for this! First time in my life that so many people actually care for me.

I don´t want to make you sad or annoy you with a long journal about what kind of sicknesses I have or what kind of awfull examinations I had or how often I went to the doctor or hospital let´s just say it was a not nice time. It´s soon december so I get the last results of the examinations soon.
I really do hope that they will finally after all these years find out what it wrong with me.
I know that I have at least three different sicknesses at once.
My depressions got very bad too. But it changes each day. Somedays I feel alright, the next day can be bad again, the next middling, and then the next is good again so I won´t complain. It is getting very very slowly better.
But- my recovery will take very very veeery long. This is not a cold which will desappear in two weeks. This will take at least until spring. They couldn´t even start with a therapy yet cause they still don´t know all my sicknesses. I can´t say if I will be much online or not.

But let´s change the subject.

Some of my butterfly photos got featured here:
[link]

Christmas is coming! I´m so looking forward to that!
I already have most presents for my friends. Thanks to my mother for lending me money. I am so sick that I can´t work and if I don´t work I have no money D: Brutal grown up reality. But oh well. My mom bought me a winter plaid dress!!!! I wanted one for sooooo long! And it is purple with grey, very fashionable!
What is your wishlist?
This is mine:

Susis Official Wishlist 2009

- HEALTH( the one thing I really need and which I cannot buy)

- Piano (too expensive)
- Winter coat (will try to save up for it myself)
- New adressbook maybe with hello kitty or flowers or with hello kitty And flowers
- Earrings
- Super Junior CD (will probably get one for christmas from my mom )
- An electrical pencil sharpener (I so need that, I have hundreds of pencils)
- Books
So what is your wishlist?

I hope you have a lovely christmas time!

Sort of.

I am very sick but it is getting better and it won´t make me die.


Sorry for making you worrying.
The medicine made me very dizzy, so I couldn´t come online.
The medicine seems to work though.

In the beginning of december I will know what exactly I have.


I´ll write more once I recovered a bit more.

Hugs and kisses to ervyone who wants some

Much love!